My Experiences Within Motherhood, & my Attempts to Maintain a Personal Life Outside of It.

My experiences within motherhood and my attempt to maintain a personal life outside of it.
...Here I record my own self discipline: My commitment not to "let myself go". My promise to seek my God and follow my passions.
My attempt to do so despite and amidst the chaos of chasing around my high-energy kids while learning the French culture...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Search Begins

...Again.

I have often told people that the attempt to discover your identity, particularly in Christ, is among the most important journeys of discovery you will ever embark on.

This all began the other day as I was chatting with a good friend who I am still in the process of getting to know. She asked me, "So what do you like to do? What are you into; what do you do in your spare time?" A typical question when getting to know someone better, right? But for me it was almost depressing. In the moment of attempting to answer what ought to be a simple question, I realized that I had no decent answer...

In the last three years a lot has changed the person that I once knew myself to be. I've moved from a place where those who knew me, knew me well, to a location where upon arriving, the only fact known about me was that I was "the new pastor's wife", a title I had never held previously. In addition, last year I had the privilege of adding a new title to my list: "mom". For all who are parents out there, you know how much a new infant affects and changes our lives. My 1-year old daughter has now pretty much summed up my identity... and by no choice of my own, I have, somehow, lost sight of myself, my passions, and simply "what I like to do". I have been so consumed by "the land of mommyhood", as I call it, that I'm not sure where the original person who began this journey went.


I'm not criticizing the person I have become. Being a mother is surely one of the most gratifying things I have ever experienced. But I realize that in the process of becoming "Charity's Mom", I've misplaced "Maribeth" along the way. It is time for those two individuals to be reshaped into one whole individual while reflecting and maintaining the beauty of both.

So here's to transformation. Here's to new experiences. Here's to a life discovered. ...And rediscovered. It will be a process I will repeat my entire life anyway. But for now, I document that process on a global (albeit conspicuous) platform.

6 comments:

supermatt28 said...

Hooray for MB's Blog!!

John the Red Wonder said...

YAY babe! Like it!

Julie said...

I love blogging and it has helped me maintain my own identity and voice. Part of my thing with FB is meshing my worlds together. I also moved away from a very large circle of family and friends to a place where nobody knew me. Even still 11 years later, I feel as if people only know a part of me. That is why I love the internet, all the worlds can mesh together. Welcome to the world of blogging.

Erin said...

I love the blog, I love the transformation idea, I look forward to reading more, as I too struggle to keep my identity in tact.

NH said...

Being a mother is a lifelong transition. Every child makes us discover new aspics of our personality. Every experience brings out facets of our live that we didn't know exist.

Going from Nola to Mommy to Mom and now Grandma has enriched my life. No matter where I have lived, no matter what I have done (at home or in the workplace) the best part of my life remains my family.

When I move I now know that it will take time and effort for people to know who Nola Is. Sometimes it takes longer than others.

But in my midfifties I know the things that matter to me most:
loving and serving God
showing God's love to others
loving and serving my family
using the talents God has given me for His glory

I don't waster a lot of time on things that don't fall into those areas. So my life is more concentrated and richer because of it. Having the pressure of daily child care behind me (I would love to have some of the daily pressure by having my grandchildren close by) means seeking out God's desires and using my time wisely for Him.

When I was in the middle of childcare it was, as it should be, the one thing that absorbed all my time and effort.

Maribeth - you are in the middle of child rearing. It is not always fun and games. But it is always God's will for you when you have a child.

I know this literally sucks everything out of you when the child is young. I felt the same way. I also worked to have my own identity. Now I know the joy of having children who are independent and serving God is worth all the time, effort and struggle.

It will be a joy to watch you grow and mature during this process.

love,

Mom Hinton

John the Red Wonder said...

good comment mom

just curious did you say raising young kids suck? :) just not sure i've ever heard my mom say something sucks! :)