My Experiences Within Motherhood, & my Attempts to Maintain a Personal Life Outside of It.

My experiences within motherhood and my attempt to maintain a personal life outside of it.
...Here I record my own self discipline: My commitment not to "let myself go". My promise to seek my God and follow my passions.
My attempt to do so despite and amidst the chaos of chasing around my high-energy kids while learning the French culture...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Not Every Day Can Be a Good Day

Yesterday was one of those days.  Sometimes my hard work as a mom doesn't feel all that appreciated. I suppose, however, that I cannot blame that on my 19-month old. It was yesterday that Charity decided to literally bulldoze everything she came in contact with, thus destroying my clean home (it's a wonder it ever stays somewhat neat around here!)  And whenever she was removed from the area that mommy wasn't okay with, she would wine and tantrum.  Lovely. 

While naptime is usually a welcomed relief from days like this, yesterday's nap did not provide much relief, as she only napped for 50 minutes as opposed to her usual 2 hours, thus resulting in a tired and fussy toddler on top of the whining wrecking ball that I already had.  Joy.

I realize motherhood and parenting in general cannot be filled with perfect days and angel-like children... in fact, those days are the rare ones.  This truth doesn't alter the fact, however, that those less-than-perfect days make me want to cry and hide in my room for the entire afternoon, pretending that I am not a mother.  This is even more the case while enduring pregnancy = a tired, sore body and raging hormones.

I can say that there was at least a pleasant intermission to my toddler's "off-day" when daddy came home and we took a trip to the Pumpkin Patch. That place truly delighted her...


Of course, her delight in the Pumpkin Patch also meant her utter disapproval and breakdown upon leaving.  So for a short hour of my day, I got some relief from my emotional child, then it was back to mood swings and whining.
It's all a part of a parent's day-to-day, I realize.  Days like this cause me to seek the wisdom of Solomon who wrote, "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools" (Ecc. 7:9). It's far easier to get provoked and angry, even if it's towards a toddler who is just trying to learn the ways of her world while making a mess of things.  Instead in response I must lean on the Holy Spirit for that fruit of patience which he promises, and attempt to not be a "fool" of a mother.  Lord, grant me strength.  

So far today, Charity has been a bit more pleasant... I'll pray it lasts, and be thankful for the trade-off.

1 comment:

Julie said...

Being a mom is the world's hardest job. Training up children in the way they should go, often is a test of faith and patience.